Where Am I Going and Where The Heck Have I Been??

I've been questioning my life quite a bit lately. Am I where I want to be? Am I feeling good about myself and what I've become? Have I accomplished everything I dreamed I would when I was younger? If I could change my past, present, and/or future, would I? I still haven't been able to answer all of my questions but I've really become more in tune with myself. There are things that need to be fixed that I AM able to fix, things that need to be fixed that I am NOT able to fix, and things that just are. I have come to the conclusion that I need a change of scenery. I'm finding it hard to fight an impending depression, as though I am playing keep away with myself. Since the housing industry is pretty slim, I know it will be more difficult to sell my house than it would have been a few years back or a few years into the future...but not impossible. Jobs, though necessary, can be replaced... I guess I will have to just wait and see what the future brings for my family. I did however, find a poem that seems to fit right now..

The Girl I Used To Be

By Rowena K. Lewis

She came tonight as I sat alone

The girl I used to be....

And she gazed at me with her earnest eye

And questioned reproachfully;

Have you forgotten the many plans

And hopes I had for you?

The great career, the splendid fame,

All the wonderful things to do?

Where is the mansion of stately height

With all its gardens rare?

The silken robes that I dreamed for you

And the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad

For I wanted her pleased with me...

This slender girl from the shadowy past

The girl that I used to be.

So gently rising I took her hand

And guided her up the stairs

Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay

Innocent, sweet and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems,

And precious they are to me;

That the silken robes is my motherhood

Of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is love,

And the only career I know

Is serving each day in these sheltered walls

For the dear ones who come and go

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,

She smiled through her tears at me.

And I saw the woman I am now

Pleased the girl I used to be.